To My Friend and Editor, Mark

Mark Lenker, my sixth rainbow, deserves acknowledgment for helping me become a research analyst and for believing in my writing abilities so much that he edited my first memoir for free.

How I Met Mark

I met Mark while pursuing my second degree. I was running late for an English class in the library, which was being hosted in one of the computer labs. That day, we were introduced to Mark Lenker, a librarian who would help us improve our research skills.

I don’t recall what exactly Mark said in class that day that drew me to him, but whatever it was, I thought it could be valuable. I sought his help with my college assignments and papers. Mark became more than just help for research and editing. He really took the time to understand my writing style, helping me develop my voice, and genuinely cared about the person behind the writing.

Writing is personal to me. I write and research things that pique my curiosity or that I’ve experienced. Through reaching out to Mark for help, we became extremely close, always maintaining professionalism. He’s one of those rare married men who actually love and are committed to their wife and daughter. I digress.

During one of my final semester’s, I took an African American history class where I read “Coming of Age in Mississippi” by Anne Moody. This autobiographical book chronicles Moody’s life growing up in the rural South during the Civil Rights Movement, offering a powerful perspective on that era’s struggles and triumphs.

The Birth of My First Memoir

Growing up, Dr. Maya Angelou was my leading inspiration in writing and poetry. However, I never got the sense from her writing that anyone could be a writer, even an ordinary person like myself. When Angelou started writing her series, she had already accomplished so much, so she didn’t seem like an ordinary person. But then I read Moody’s book, and I ended it with the feeling that anyone could not only write a book but have it published on a national scale and become a bestseller. Before reading this book, I always thought you had to be famous to write a book. It was in reading this book that my first memoir was born.

Fast-forward to COVID-19. As a new graduate with my second degree, I couldn’t go to Stanford Law as planned, nor get a job at Google because the world was shut down. But I could write! This is when I told Mark about my idea. He advised me to read several autobiographies to understand their style. So, I read “Coming of Age in Mississippi” again, Gabrielle Union’s “We’re Going to Need More Wine,” Frederick Douglass’s narrative, and Tiffany Haddish’s “The Last Black Unicorn.” These books equipped me with the tools I needed.

I knew I wanted to do a series of books about my life. My earliest memories started at age 4, so my first book starts there and ends at age 19. I aimed to give my readers hope for my next life phase. The second book, “Stripper Diaries,” covers my life as a stripper and student in Las Vegas. The third book, “Pregnancy’s Ugly Truth,” details my pregnancy during COVID and my experience with homebirth. The fourth book will follow my first memoir, emphasizing survival and strength.

The Writing Process

I changed the names of everyone involved except for my mother, brother, and sister to protect their privacy. After outlining my story and creating a character list, I started writing. It took 4.5 years, but with Mark’s help, I produced a marketable and relatable book. Writing this memoir was therapeutic; it taught me about my triggers and feelings. However, recounting my life was also daunting and haunting.

Acknowledgment

Mark, at the start of this book, I offered to pay you, and you told me you just wanted to be mentioned in the acknowledgments. While this isn’t in my official book acknowledgment, this is my personal acknowledgment to you. I know you didn’t believe you could be an editor. I remember you saying you started writing your own book but didn’t finish. I kept sending you chapters until you said yes, and look where we are now. I’m so grateful for you. You believed in me and helped nurture my talent, something my ninth-grade English teacher did for me as well. I’m glad you’re still here with me! It’s just like my masks said at the graduation ceremony Team Tiara!