Walking in Truth

Thank you for sharing your story about having a baby at the tender age of 14. When all you wanted to do was hide and be invisible because your father is a prominent pastor , calling so much attention to your life. The very life you want to hide from.

Thank you for walking in your truth, Pastor Sarah. It’s allowed me to walk in mine. I used to be embarrassed about telling people that I was a stripper but not anymore. I used to tell them that I was a bartender instead mainly to please my biological mother, who is embarrassed by my choices. Choices, she led me to make with her lack of parenting.

And then this whole child custody case made me even more ashamed of being a stripper.

When those subpoenas hit, do you know this man had every strip club in the city of Las Vegas subpoenaed? Why would you want the mother of your child to be without a job, without a place to live, without any money, to be financially constrained? His intention was clearly to bleed me dry financially; to cut me at my knees, so I couldn’t walk, to cripple me to break me like you break a person down in jail ! You should want the mother of your child to thrive because if she thrives, then your child thrives. Do you know that a child feels everything their mother feels, especially a breast-fed child? If the mother is disrupted in any way, it affects the child, whether by accident or on purpose.

Basically, he committed to a full-time job of destruction. Left and right, I started getting fired from clubs, and they would say, “Come back when this whole thing is over.” It’s crazy because I always joked and said he was my white pimp, but there’s truth to every joke. I was a stripper well before I met him, yet he tried to take that source of income away from me—a source of income I was using to educate myself so I could become the person I am now and help this generation that needs my voice to uplift and encourage them. So many grassroots leaders are given the backseat with the expansion of social media influencers. As a society, we have lost touch with life and reality; instead, we are focused on the physical and material, not on bettering our minds, bodies, and spirits, not on changing ourselves to be the best we can be and to think positively.

It’s so crazy, the audacity of someone to try to take away something you had before you even met them—your ambition, your education, your job, your vision for this generation. He tried to replace my reality with his reality. But that’s why knowledge is power. That’s why my GOD is so good to me. I serve an awesome God who does exceedingly abundant things. I thank Him in advance for the blessings that are on their way to me and my daughter, blessings I don’t even have room for in my life, but I’m going to make room for anyway. Thank you, God.

But I’m not ashamed anymore. There’s nothing wrong with stripping to make a better life for yourself. It’s a perfectly legal job actually but one that I’ve been condemned for. one that I almost wanted to.escape from because I didn’t want all those strippers and entertainers to see me now. To know my truth. The fear of one of them stumbling across my blog or story and then seeing them in a Vegas locker room. Gave me great anxiety. But not anymore. This is my story. I’m owning it. I’m walking in it. I’m more than a stripper. I’m a trail blazer. I make hell nervous when I wake up in the morning. I am a game changer. And I’ve been called to break generational curses. And as my pastor Sarah once said, “we are going to evolve until the wheels fall off! I can’t just move on from that. I tried.”

During this custody battle, I was like forget it I’ll just be an ordinary person I gave up on myself. I gave up on the calling. God place so heavily on my heart because I thought it was too painful to walk in, but you know what I found out is painful anyway, whether you’re walking or sitting it hurts so you might as well get your ass up and-start walking. Don’t even walk; run and keep making hell nervous!

Thank you pastor Sarah for speaking to the power god wants to pull out of me. “Not another molestation not another rape because when I break it, I’m gonna break it off of everything attached to me” (Sarah Jakes Roberts) so that Elizabeth will never have to cry the tears that keep me up most nights.