“1. never let a nigga fuck you over more than once
2. Anybody owe you bread do not accept the crumbs
3. member you could Never tell these bitches everything
4. Today she call you sis tomorrow she ya enemy
5. Money to the side don’t let a nigga leave you dry
6. Stand on business if they say it’s up you betta ride
7. Keep the family first put them infront of everything
8. bet on yaself if you gon roll the dice on anything
9. Any points to be made don’t be scared to prove it
10. And you betta look fuckin good when you do it

Its rules on how to move out here you know this shit get ugly! I had a bitch do me the dirtiest and claim to love me‼️(Kash Doll)”

She was eating some chicken fingers and fries. They looked good. I was hungry. It had been a rough start as a stripper. I had been profiting, but I knew there was some real money in this. I just didn’t know how to get it. But one thing about me, I’m a fast learner. She looked like a total bitch. She was half white and Mexican, on the thicker side. She wasn’t pretty, but she wasn’t ugly either. She was cool. I would find out that bitch had a mouthpiece like a muthafucka. She should’ve been a man. That’s how cold her game was.

Wait. Let me not skip ahead too much. That’s gonna be hard, lol! I said to Nick, “can I have a chicken finger?” I was never one to be scared to ask for what I wanted or needed. A closed mouth don’t get fed. I wasn’t one to starve for too long.

She responded so rudely, her face in a scowl like, you know, that screw-face type of look. If resting bitch face could be a person, it would be Nick. “You ain’t got no money for no food of your own?” I matched her audacity right back. One thing about me: I ain’t no pussy! “Bitch, clearly not if I’m asking you!” Shocked yet somewhat impressed by my fire, she changed her attitude real quick. She started to size me up but not in a jealous or hateful way.

It was like the way a man looks at a woman he desires. She definitely desired me. My white girl body, big breasts, and radiant chocolate skin was enough to captures anyone’s eyes. My glasses making me look nerdy and innocent. My “package” indicated I could be of value to her. See one thing about Vegas especially Vegas locals are they grew up here. To grow up in Las Vegas has the potential depending on the parenting style of the parents but this city alone can expose the child to fast culture sooner than they would in a city like Alameda. With Nick being a young parent; she wasn’t able to go to school first then have kids. That is why I never had kids young; seeing my test giver struggle showed me that I didn’t want to struggle as a mom. Life is hard enough. People should have kids when they’re properly educated and mature in age. Instead she had kids starting at 17 still in high school. So she was a kid having a kid. I studied this deeply because again people have traumatized me.

This is why you’ll see and learn later; Nick was destined to be childish and disloyal because she started adult life when she was still a child. Your mind doesn’t fully grow into its full cognitive capabilities until age 26.

Btw, it was in pursuing my second degree which inspired her to go back to community college and then transfer to UNLV to complete a bachelors in environmental science. Do you see how you have to hang around people who are like you. So the right stuff soaks in. Me being a dedicated student and using stripping to fund my education. So I could be stress free and not worry about studying . This motivated her to go back to school. But where was I; I’m skipping ahead. Sorry told y’all this one will be hard for me!

Reflecting now, this was her way of determining if I was worthy of the game she was about to spit on me.

I was! She ended up giving me the rest of her food. I ate immediately. Reflecting now, this showed the bitch that I was hungry. She liked that. A hungry bitch has a hustle like no other. Nick only had time for the hustle. It was all about money with her. There was no love in her heart. I’m not sure who broke it, but it was broken way before me. I digress for now.

Even though I was hungry, as a new stripper barely making money but seeing the hope in it based on my experience in ATL with Sister—we’ll talk about that later—I wasn’t desperate. This was something Nick respected about me among many things: my hunger, my work ethic, my body, my intellect, and her favorite, my mouthpiece. But I was green, as they call it.

A green person in the stripping industry is a new booty stripper, a young girl, typically 21-23 years of age, who don’t know anything about the industry, her self-worth, or life outside of her own bubble. This was me all day. To a vet like Nick, she read me right.

Fast forward, I never had a pimp. I never gave this bitch money either. Well, definitely some loans which I never got back, but was never giving her a percent or no shit like a lot of other strippers and hoes thought who were so curious about Nick and me.

Anyway, Nick taught me everything about the entertainment industry, Las Vegas, pimps, strippers, hoes, renegades, where the best restaurants were, the best hotels. She grew up here in Vegas. At the time, she had two small kids, both boys. Now, outside of Rose, I didn’t fuck with people’s kids. My little brother was the best birth control for me. I always planned to wait until I was established to have kids. I didn’t want to struggle as a mother. That was so important to me.

Although Nick taught me everything I know, I ended up surpassing her. I took this shit to a whole new level. Reflecting now, this is when the jealousy started. I didn’t even peep it until my most recent tragedy. But funny thing about God, he works in mysterious ways. And one thing I didn’t like about Nick was she didn’t believe in Him. She actually had a god complex. She would often joke and say shit like, “I’m god!” And she’d see me praying and say ignorant shit like, “you should pray to me. I’m your God!” Now, I ain’t gonna lie, that shit rubbed me the wrong way, and I would tell her.

But as I stated in a different blog, I’ve never been the one to force God onto anyone. I just speak my truth. You don’t like it, that’s your problem, not mine!

Even though I never paid her with actual money, I paid her back for the game she instilled in me by babysitting her boys. I worked the day shift and would babysit them at night so she could work the night shift. If I had a good customer and she was having a shitty night, it was understood that I had to convince the customer to add her into the VIP room too. I didn’t trip, because she taught me invaluable game and saved me a journey of being a lost stripper, which is where I was headed. I’ll unpack that in another blog. But I paid my dues; I was loyal to this bitch!

Do you know this bitch was homeless at one point in our fake-ass friendship? Cause I know now she was never my friend. People like her don’t know how to be a friend cause they never had proper parenting. No one to show them how to be a decent human being for real! Anyway, I let her move in with me and her two little boys into my one-bedroom condo until she got her shit together.

Fast forward to me making a mistake and moving into a place with mold, only to have to move right away at the last minute. Do you know she wouldn’t even let me live with her? The bitch had a whole five-bedroom house in Summerlin at this point in her life. I had to live in Circus Circus hotel for a month. Trapped too hard, but I got me a little one-bedroom on the east side. Trapped even harder, and in seven months’ time, I was living back in Summerlin and driving a brand-new car.

But during that seven months, I isolated myself because, bitch, where were you when I needed you? Like a fool, I let this whore back into my life. Smh; my twat birth giver always told me since I was a child, “You’re too forgiving, and that’s going to be the death of you!” First off, who tells a child some shit like that repeatedly? Now y’all see why it was so easy for me to become a trauma specialist, right? People left me confused. I had to go to school and study psychology to figure it out, make sense of it all. I digress.

She weaseled her way back into my fold by reaching out on Facebook. The bitch was doing bad, living with her dad, sleeping on his couch. No car, just struggling. Like a fool, I helped this bitch bounce back!

Fast forward to my last tragedy. When I got back to Vegas, I just knew who to go to, who was going to help me bounce back. Past experiences should’ve told me otherwise. I’m calling her for days, y’all. Calling her ass while sleeping in the back seat of my car in the garage of the Strat! She’s not answering. I’m using the library bathroom to take wash-ups. Shit was ugly! Finally, I hear from her. Relieved, I thought, right? Wrong!

Do you know as soon as this shit happens, she messages me on Instagram. Like, bitch, you have my whole phone number. We were supposed to be friends. She messages me, “Your ex called me and told me everything that happened in Utah. You deserve everything you’re going through!”

I loved her kids as if they were my own. Really bonded with them. I miss them to this day. Y’all can read! Come find me when you turn 18. Don’t join the army; it’s good I got y’all. And that’s why I kept going back. As a former foster youth, her kids had a hold on me. She was a negligent parent. I scolded her for this. We got into it often over her lack of parenting skills. Cause one thing about me is you can’t be my friend and be a deadbeat! That’s out! So I stuck by her, cause she was a single mom of three. And I loved her kids and they loved me. But it was her who ruined it by being who only she could be: a ruthless, cold-hearted, godless woman!

Wow! What’s crazy is it be the people closest to you that’s rooting for your downfall. You gotta be careful who you surround yourself with, who you got on your team, who you’re sleeping with. Y’all see I was sleeping with the devil!

Crazy thing is Sister and MJ never liked Nick. My high school friends who would come visit me didn’t like her off the rip. But I couldn’t let her go because she had transformed my life in such a way. I felt a loyalty towards her. But God showed me for the last time; that loyalty didn’t mean anything to her. It was all about the money. And now that I was down, I had nothing to offer her. People will show you who they are. Just give them time.

Don’t forget to follow my Instagram and comment on the videos I’ve created to accompany these stories. I’ve carefully selected music to match what’s happening, so pay attention. Through my book, I’m telling you a story and painting you a picture. With my Instagram, I’m bringing that story to life. My audio podcast read-alongs are coming soon to complete the experience!