“It’s like you’re a demon I can’t face down. It’s like I’m stuck. It’s like I’m running from you all the time(Kelly Clarkson)”

When I hear this song I think of you. You’re so suffocating. You’ve suffocated ever part of my life. Even now.

“It’s like you’re a leech
Sucking the life from me (Kelly Clarkson)”

Current mood: “It’s like I can’t breathe
It’s like I can’t see anything
Nothing but you
I’m addicted to you
It’s like I can’t think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts, in my dreams
You’ve taken over me
It’s like I’m not me (Kelly Clarkson)”

As I navigate this heart-wrenching situation, I confront a reality where he, that boy disguised as a man, leverages his white privilege and family’s unlimited wealth to dismantle lives like mine. As a successful Black individual, I understand through intersectionality and psychology that this isn’t personal. This fight extends beyond my own pain; it’s a battle my ancestors began, and now God has called me to carry it forward.

The wealthy, privileged individuals who wield their power to crush African Americans, particularly grassroots leaders like myself, seek to remind us of our historical place as perpetually inferior. But through this struggle, I draw strength from those who came before me, who faced similar injustices with unwavering resilience.

In this moment of adversity, I hold fast to my faith and the knowledge that this fight is not just about me—it’s about dismantling systems of oppression and paving the way for a future where equity and justice prevail.

To truly break generational curses, we must embrace a future where inclusion, diversity, and equity are not mere social media trends or political ploys aimed at boosting college enrollments. It requires a deep-seated commitment to genuine change, where every individual is valued and empowered regardless of background or identity. This journey demands authentic understanding, empathy, and action to dismantle systemic barriers and foster a society where everyone can thrive equitably. By challenging entrenched norms and advocating for justice and fairness, we pave the way for a legacy free from the limitations of the past, ensuring a brighter, more inclusive future for generations to come.

Though the road is fraught with pain and uncertainty, I stand firm in my resolve to overcome and to ensure that my child and others like them inherit a world where their worth is never questioned, and their potential knows no bounds.

Final thoughts at the conclusion of this song

I rebuke you satin. Paraphrasing Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts; Im serving you your eviction notice. Your two year vacation is up. You can no longer have my mind and my voice. I rebuke you in the name of Jesus and call you out as the liar you are.

“No weapon formed against me shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against me in judgment
God shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord.Isaiah 54:17 (New King James Version)”

I cannot simply relinquish my role as my daughter’s primary parent. No little girl should grow up without her mother, especially one as inspiring and determined as myself. It’s crucial for her to witness resilience firsthand, to understand that overcoming challenges is possible, and to recognize what true strength looks like in adversity.

My first sister exemplified this strength for me. She never gave up on me; instead, she approached every challenge from different angles until I was safely back in her arms, sleeping soundly in my own room. I saw her unwavering determination firsthand, and it taught me that if she could do it, I too can stand firm in my beliefs and advocate for intersectionality.

I firmly believe that it is my daughter’s destiny, as a mixed-race child, to carry forward this legacy of resilience and strength.

In the face of the boy disguised as a man who uses his privilege and wealth to harm me, I find comfort in the scripture that declares, “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.” This verse reminds me that despite the challenges and injustices I face, God’s protection is unwavering. It strengthens my determination to stand firm against oppression and injustice, knowing that divine justice will prevail in the end. With faith and perseverance, I believe I will overcome these trials and they’ve already made me stronger.

Moreover, as I reflect on my situation, I am emboldened by the assurance that “you may have bruised my tail, but at the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, I’m going to crush you, devil.” I declare with confidence that victory is mine. I envision a future where my daughter and I enjoy the return and everyday mother-daughter relationship we both deserve. This hope fuels my fight against the forces that seek to divide and harm us. Through prayer and steadfast resolve, I trust that God will restore what has been taken from us and lead us into a future filled with love, peace, and reconciliation.

I can’t just move on from that!

See, God told me, “He wouldn’t just hurt me for no reason”. Oh no, He’s much too good and gracious for that. This was all for a purpose larger than I could ever imagine. So, Elizabeth endured severe pain at the tender age of only nine months—a deep longing, not knowing where her mother was or the breasts that fed her milk and filled her belly.

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