“Don’t be a victim of circumstance. It doesn’t have to be the way you grew up!” – Shannon

There is no pain greater than that of a child’s loss. It’s a pain so deep, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. This next speaker, Shannon, shared that same pain with me. Though our experiences were different, our bond was rooted in the same tragedy—losing a child.

Shannon lost her third baby after carrying him for twenty weeks. She described her heart-wrenching hospital visit: the doctors, with their clinical detachment, asked her what she wanted to do with the remains. “There were some parts,” she said, “but nothing fully developed—almost like fragments.” As she processed her loss, she was told they needed to discharge her the same day to make space for someone else. Shannon’s story gripped me. I found myself clutching my chest, holding back tears, trying to keep my composure. The weight of her words was overwhelming. I wanted to run, to escape the intensity, but I felt God urging me to stay. “Listen,” He said. “Watch how I turn suffering into joy.”

And so, I stayed.

Shannon went on to talk about the ridicule she faced from her own family and friends. Some had the audacity to say, “Well, you already have three children, so who cares if you lost one?” The ignorance people can display in times of trauma is staggering. As a human being, it shocks me. As a trauma specialist, I know that when someone is sharing their pain, the best response is silence. Nine times out of ten, anything said will only deepen the wound. It’s better to listen than to speak.

Shannon’s grief didn’t end with her loss. She fell into a deep depression, which led to her withdrawing from life. As the primary breadwinner, her mental state affected her family’s stability. They faced eviction—twice. “I lost myself after I lost my baby,” she said. Her words hit close to home for me. The pain of losing my daughter Elizabeth had brought me to the same place, where I questioned my will to live. Shannon had degrees, education, and the credentials to succeed, but what she lacked was mental and emotional support. I understood her completely. Life has a way of breaking you down to your barest, like a car stripped down to its frame.

Amidst this turmoil, Shannon discovered that her husband had been cheating on her for the past two years—during her pregnancy and after the loss of their child. As a woman, this betrayal infuriates me. A woman, already broken by the loss of her child, finds her husband has shattered their vows. Where is the integrity, the compassion, the humanity?

What made Shannon’s story even more powerful was that it wasn’t something that had happened in the distant past—this was all recent, within the last two years. In the midst of her pain, she sought refuge in her faith. She went to church, and her pastor told her that unless she aligned herself with God, nothing in her life would succeed. So, she surrendered. She began a journey of healing and self-discovery, writing a book about her experience, which she was kind enough to gift me with an autograph.

As for her husband, Shannon made a profound choice. She told him, “Cheat or not, I’m going to continue to raise these kids!” She released him emotionally, recognizing that she could no longer carry his trauma. That decision resonated deeply with me. My situation with my child’s father was different—he didn’t cheat—but I also had to reach a point where I refused to let him define my worth or my future.

For years, I worked day and night as a stripper, just to carve out two weeks of time with my daughter, buying her everything she dreamed of. But I realized that I had to walk away from that life and walk with God. I had to release the power I had given my child’s father over my life. And once I did, God allowed everything to fall into place. Today, we are back together, raising our child. I never imagined this would be possible, but falling asleep next to him each night is a testament to the faith I placed in God.

When I hear stories like Shannon’s and reflect on my own, I am reminded that God is still working miracles. If He can restore our broken lives, He can do it for anyone.

Through pain, through loss, through betrayal—we can still rise. Shannon’s journey and mine are living proof of that.