“What makes our children happy & fills them with joy is to see their father and mother fulfilled.” – Pastor Toni Alvarado

On the last day of the Christian Embassy Winter Conference, I had the privilege of hearing from the only woman pastor to grace the stage—Pastor Toni Alvarado. The sermon was titled “Love Is the Strategy.” From the very first scripture, John 13:34–35, I felt the Spirit lean in toward me:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

That verse pierced me because love is the one thing I’ve struggled to lead with. When you’ve survived betrayal, endured abandonment, and been forced to rebuild from ashes, you don’t walk into relationships with arms open—you walk in with armor on.

I’ve often led with observation. Skepticism. Defense.

I’m a woman who trusts patterns more than words. So when Pastor Toni challenged us to lead with love, it almost felt like she was cracking open my favorite quote:

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

But maybe the problem wasn’t what I believed. Maybe the missing piece in my strategy was love all along. Radical love. The kind that still serves, even after being wounded.

The Feet

Pastor Toni drew our attention to the feet—symbolic of our journey, position, and service. She said something that stuck with me: “Leadership isn’t about titles or status; it’s about the posture of your feet.”

That metaphor gripped me.

I thought about how my three-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, sleeps with one foot on me and one on her father. If only one of us is there, she’ll press her foot against our thigh—her own way of ensuring no one leaves without her knowing. Her little feet are her security system, her grounding. They whisper: If you move, I’ll feel it.

So when I reflected on Pastor Toni’s message about the symbolism of feet—how they represent our journey, our leadership, and our posture in service—I started thinking about how Elizabeth plants her feet on me and her father while she sleeps. She’s grounding herself. Seeking connection. Security.

That’s when I realized something powerful:

Just like my daughter plants her feet on me for stability, I must plant mine in Jesus for the same reason.

He is my root.

I am the seed He watered.

And now I’ve risen.

The Call to Serve

The sermon became deeply personal when Pastor Toni spoke about Peter denying Jesus three times. And yet Jesus still chose to lead him. He served Peter even in betrayal. That scripture hit different for me.

I’ve had to care for someone who left me when I was drowning. A man who, instead of throwing me a life raft, stepped back and watched me sink. Yet here I am—serving him. Not because I trust him. But because God is calling me to lead through service, not spite. This is not submission in man. It’s spiritual maturity in Jesus. It’s God whispering, “Are you really ready to lead, Tiara? Then show Me. Love anyway.”

And that’s when it hit me: This sermon was my own story being preached back to me.

Love as a Weapon

Pastor Toni said something I’ll never forget:

“The enemy is often seated at your table. Sometimes it’s Judas—but love anyway.”

It made me think of Gavin. I didn’t come to this blog to testify against him—but I also can’t ignore the parallels. At one point, he was Judas in my life. But today, I choose to serve him anyway.

Not because he’s earned it—but because God has placed this mandate in my hands.

I believe God is testing my heart—as He searches the hearts of all men.

And even though this wasn’t directly in Pastor Toni’s sermon, I feel led to say:

You know you’ve truly forgiven someone when the same person who betrayed you is now the one you’re called to care for—and you do it with humility. Not to seek revenge, but to seek restoration.

I hope I’m passing that test.

But that’s not up to me.

That’s up to God—on judgment day.

When I approach those gates, I don’t want Him to say He never knew me.

I want Him to open His arms the way I’ve opened mine to Gavin.

Yes—I’ve taken Gavin back.

I don’t fully trust him.

But I trust God’s strategy more than I trust my own.

I’m not leading with fear anymore.

I’m leading with love.

For Elizabeth’s sake.

For mine.

And for the glory of the One who asked me to do the unthinkable—

Love anyway.

The Mandate

Pastor Toni reminded us that this commandment wasn’t optional. It’s a mandate. She said:

“We’ve tried everything else. Now let’s try love.”

So I lay down my anger. I lay down my need to be right.

And I pick up the towel like Jesus did.

I serve.

I forgive.

I lead.

Because love is the only strategy that multiplies what’s broken.

Final Prayer

Father,

Help me to exalt You and not miss this lesson. I thank You for the word spoken over me and so many others through Pastor Toni. Her message was the seed, and my story is the soil where it’s taking root.

God, I thank You for the miracle I’m walking in. I thank You for Elizabeth being restored to me. I am reminded to always be grateful—because not long ago, these feet couldn’t even stand. But You didn’t just help me rise; You gave me the strength to walk beside someone who once caused me gut-wrenching pain.

So God, I ask that You help me to love Gavin anyway. Let my love look like Yours. Let my service reflect Heaven. And let my leadership begin at my feet—planted firmly in You.

Love is the strategy. I’m ready to walk it out.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.